- Students
should feel lucky to attend Green River Community College, it has a lot
wonderful opportunities to explore nature.
Corrected Run-On in Paragraph:
Students should feel lucky to
attend Green River Community College; it has a lot of wonderful opportunities
to explore nature. When walking around Green River beautiful cedar trees and
forestry are seen everywhere. There are many trails from building to building. Without
trees you would not have fresh air, which helps students have better health.
Therefore the clean environment leads to an optimal study environment for
students, impacting them in positive ways that other campuses cannot provide.
- College
textbooks are priced way too high, students find them to be a financial
burden.
Corrected Run-On in Paragraph:
College textbooks are priced way
too high; students find them to be a financial burden. Normally at books
stores, non-school related books are maybe thirty dollars at the most; but when
you buy a school related book they can be hundreds of dollars. I have financial
aid and can barely afford school then I had to buy three hundred dollars’ worth
of books out of pocket money? Buying books for school can put financial stress
on a lot of students.
3. GRCC is a diverse school GRCC students can have many discourses.
3. GRCC is a diverse school GRCC students can have many discourses.
Corrected Run-On in Paragraph:
GRCC is a diverse school because
the students have many discourses. There are so many different types of people
at Green River that you may never meet. Every person has their own lifestyle
and their own job. For example think of the thirty people who are in one of
your classes, every person has a different job; so that makes 30 discourses in
a single class. Now think of the thousands of students that attend Green River,
which could make up thousands of discourses. Green River is a discourse, full
of other discourses.
4. I love to explore Seattle, Seattle has many interesting things to explore.
4. I love to explore Seattle, Seattle has many interesting things to explore.
Corrected Run-On in Paragraph:
I love to explore Seattle because;
Seattle has many interesting things to explore. There are unlimited amounts of
places to visit in Seattle. From Pike Place Market, to the Space Needle; there
are endless possibilities of the places you could explore. Seattle is a very
large city and known to many around the country. Seattle is the perfect place
for tourists to go, even if you live in Washington; it’s fun to be a tourist
for a day. Whenever a day is needed out of the house; Seattle is the perfect
place to go to have fun and explore different opportunities.
5. A smoking ban on campus is good for students not everyone should be exposed to cigarette smoke.
5. A smoking ban on campus is good for students not everyone should be exposed to cigarette smoke.
Corrected Run-On in Paragraph:
A smoking ban on campus is good
for students. Not everyone should be exposed to cigarette smoke. Many students
have complained about walking by the smoking areas at school because they don’t
want to be exposed to cigarette smoke. There are many cons of smoking
cigarettes because you can get sick and it smells bad and sticks easily to hair
and clothes. Nobody wants second hand smoke because it is even more dangerous than
smoking itself, so that is why Green River Community College has put a smoking
ban on.
Your paragraph 3 is strong because…the analysis is clear or something about the evidence.
ReplyDeleteI like your example in the 3rd paragraph. It makes the topic clearer.
ReplyDeleteI like your third paragraph because it is well structured and you provide a good insight about what your topic is.
ReplyDeleteYour paragraph 2 is strong because the analysis you did is more specific. I like the example you gave us, and it always looks stronger when you have some numbers with the analysis. Good job! :)
ReplyDeleteyour paragraph 5 is good because you clearly explain why there is a smoking ban. then you give great examples backing it up.
ReplyDelete